It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize