Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
