i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
