He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
