yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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