Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
