he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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