Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
