Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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