after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
