I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
