so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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