I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
