That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
