you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize