there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
did i just pee glitter
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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