God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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