You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
