Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
