Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
