He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
