There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
whose parrot is this?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
