I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
