worst night to have a conscience
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
