I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
