She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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