So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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