Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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