D3 body, D1 cock
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize