I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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