I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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