Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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