i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
