i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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