The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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