I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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