My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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