look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well I just put wine in my tea
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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