you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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