I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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