walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
