This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
