I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
