I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
