We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
