xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
