Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
