the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
