she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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