Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
