We're facebook friends in real life
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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