Where is the hickey?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
