6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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