I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
