I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
