yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
