Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
