Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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