please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
