Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
