I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
