He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
