you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
