Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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