Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize