It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize