Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
