If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
