it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize