apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
tequila makes me forget i have legs
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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