Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
